THE PURPOSE OF LIFE (CONTINUED)

To pick up from where we left off, it is clear from the last article that being unable to narrow down your pursuits is what is preventing you from finding your life’s purpose and becoming your greatest self. Your inability to focus on one thing is what is most probably holding you back.

Okay! Sounds just about easy huh? …So if I just cause myself to focus on one particular thing for a long enough period, I will find my purpose in life and achieve my greatness right?  

Well… yes and no. Chances are yes, doing that could result in something positive. But it could also result in nothing significant and be a complete waste of your time –and consequently, a complete waste of your life! (…As a tip I have gained some value and urgency from replacing the word ‘time’ with ‘life’ in most settings. Because if you think about it really, that’s all that time is…life. Try replacing time with ‘life’ in many situations and observe how that affects your sense of urgency and your perspective about time). In the final analysis, you are not wasting time…you are wasting life. “Life” that you will never ever get back again.

Reflections from the Past

Speaking of life… in the early stages of mine –when I was around the age of 4 to 6 years old, I always believed my life would be great and phenomenal (of course not exactly in those words lol). But I always believed that I would achieve tremendous levels of success. I remember looking up at that big bright blue Livingstone, Zambia sky and knowing without a doubt that I would do great things in my life.

Well, I guess either my life is far from over –or I have let my younger self down. To start with, I am still not Superman –and I’m not even half as cool as the weakest or cheesiest of the Avengers or the Masters of the Universe lol. Truth be told, there is even a chance that Shaggy from Scooby-Doo is cooler and funnier than me (slaps face). Five-year-old me would be very disappointed lol.

Okay, I’m just clowning! But on a serious note, like virtually all kids growing up, I always knew that I was not ordinary. I always knew that I was great. I always knew I was different. Even as I studied in class and as I pursued my education, I always knew it. Even as I set goals to be the best in my class. Even as I achieved those goals or failed miserably at them because the smarter kids in my class beat me. Regardless of what happened to me as a kid, I always knew I was great. And I like to think that some of my teachers believed it too.

Guardian Angels

Whenever I made mistakes and started heading down naughty, dangerous and destructive paths, certain teachers would remind me of my uniqueness and tell me to stay on a good path (We really need such teachers for our kids –the ones who see the greatness in them even though it isn’t visible to everyone else –and even though the child doesn’t seem smart or is extremely naughty, slow or undisciplined). Those small gestures by teachers count for a lot to be honest.

Unfortunately, I can only write my articles from my perspective and experiences. I cannot write from your perspective or experiences because I have not lived your life or gone through what you have gone through. I have only lived my life. So therefore I can only tell my story from that angle –and tell it like that I will.

An Unforgettable Childhood Memory

One episode from my childhood that I will never forget is when in 7^th grade I was accused of being amongst the kids who were smoking marijuana.  The Deputy Head-Teacher at the time (who was actually one of the teachers who really believed in me) called me to his office to ask me about the accusations and offer me counseling. He started off by letting me know that he was very disappointed that my name had appeared on the notorious list.

As a lawyer looking at the episode in hindsight, I must admit that very few things hurt like being accused and getting in trouble for something that you didn’t do. In all honesty, that accusation hurt so much –even if my teacher said he believed me when I told him I had never smoked anything in my life. He still had to counsel me as though I had. He had to make sure he did his job as a child counselor so that I should go down the correct path regardless of my innocence or guilt.

The Greatest Heartbreak

But by far the most painful experience at the time was what happened when I told my mother about the accusations. When I told my mother about it, just like my teacher, she equally told me she believed in my innocence –but counseled me like I had done it. This really hurt 12 year old me a lot because I had expressly and sincerely told my mom I had never smoked in my life –but c’est la vie (such is life).

Well, let’s just say that episode of my young life taught me that when you are innocent, it’s really hard to prove your innocence to other people. Not even your own mother would believe you 100% without doubting you for a second. Looking back at it now, I can safely say that when you’ve been accused of something, effectively proving your innocence is extremely hard –and sometimes nearly impossible. I remember myself crying as a little kid when I learned of this harsh reality –and I rarely cried –even as a young child.

The Thin and Hurtful Line between Innocence and Guilt

Despite everything, let’s just say I have learned a lot about innocence and guilt from my work since then. So I harbor no hard feelings against my teachers or my mother. They had to do what they had to do. Not doing what they did the way they did it would have resulted in a more destructive outcome for me had I really been smoking at the time. It would have resulted in losing a kid with so much potential to drugs and addiction. And as life would have it, this is now the exact fear I have for my niece and my nephew –the irony!

Nightmares

What’s worse for me as a guardian right now is that while my parents only had to worry about marijuana when I was growing up, I have to worry about close to 30 different kinds of drugs that kids of today keep “discovering” or “inventing” every single day.

What’s actually insane is that the said drugs are ridiculously easy for kids to access –and they are extremely addictive and destructive. I can only hope my kids come out of this ‘drug madness’ okay…. I can only hope. The only thing my teacher could do. The only thing my mother could do in her situation concerning me… Like them, I can only hope.

The Inner Compass

Fortunately for myself, I somehow made generally good decisions as a kid and got out of adolescence and the youthful craziness relatively okay. I am sure my mother and my late teacher (May his soul rest in peace) are happy about the outcome. I just hope my kids will afford me the same happiness… Again, I can only hope.

With that being said, one thing I know for certain is that as a child, believing I was made for greatness and great things helped me make correct decisions most of the time. It is what made me influence my friends to avoid drinking alcohol every day after we finished school because I knew it would end with us becoming alcoholics. It is what caused me and my close friends to think slightly above average and try out business ventures, hobbies and other constructive projects so that we don’t fall victim to “the hood.”

A Little Thing that Made All the Difference

Overall, ‘thinking above average’ turned out to be very important and happened to be the key difference between those who made significant progress in their lives and those who did not. That difference in thinking was crucial for me and my close friends’ progress because we grew up in communities where people had somewhat low standards and not much ambition. So most young boys and girls in our communities usually end up being lazy and glorifying alcohol and drugs. Without a doubt, it was that belief in my inner greatness which saved me from a similar fate.

Feeling Lost and Confused: Does it Ever End?

Despite achieving relative success and avoiding the “hood mentality,” I still find myself three decades old and without a clue what the purpose of my life is. It really bothers me that after so many failures and some successes, I still have not figured out my life’s purpose. In fact, to be brutally honest, I don’t think I am anywhere close to doing so lol. Maybe that is okay considering I still have half my life ahead of me. But then again… maybe it’s not okay –who knows? Who cares? (Sigh)

Anyway, I guess what is really eating me up is that I know the kind of things I should be doing with my life and the level at which I should be doing them by now –but I am not doing them. Largely because I am trapped in a place where I am solving huge and pressing problems for people I don’t really know while my own problems stay waiting for me after I am done solving theirs. I am slowly dying inside.

The Harsh Reality

That being said, at some point I will have to face my reality and either make a change in my life –or come to terms with it and accept it for what it is. A very painful realization. But as they say, “Acceptance is the first step toward peace and recovery.”

This reminds me of an old song by Passenger which goes:

“Well if you can’t get what you love, you learn to love the things you’ve got. If you can’t be what you want, you learn to be the things you’re not. If you can’t get what you need, you learn to need the things that stop you dreaming…”

(From Passenger –Things That Stop You Dreaming)  Too much wisdom in that guy.

Well, when it all goes down, I just hope I won’t be on the bitter end of the spectrum… I can only hope. But for the time being, I will keep believing in my inner greatness and continue purposefully trying to think above average. It’s worked once before. So with a bit of good fortune, maybe it’ll work again. Maybe. I can only hope.

To be continued …again lol. I can only…Aghh! You know what? –Never mind!!!